Tuesday, 9 August 2005

Hidden in the midst of a crowd

Have you ever felt so lonely before even though you are standing in the middle of a crowd? Have you ever felt so left out that whatever you do seem to have no affect on anything around you? Have you ever heard someone said about being aware of others and no one seems to bother about you?

Playing in a band rocks, it really does, but being the usual happy-go-lucky kind of guy I am, I don't mind how the band actually plays or how loud my music is. Nah, I just like it if the band coordinates well together. That is all I ask for. Sensitivity to the rest of the other band members play an important role because it affects the entire team's dynamics.

I hate playing in a monotone, I hate playing when nobody knows how to control their own volume, I hate it when everyone tries to show off their skills while drowning out the rest of the band, I hate it when nobody takes notice of other team members during practice, I hate it when people don't make the effort to try to listen to the song before practice whilst giving excuses, I hate it when people try to bring up their "defences" whenever they are criticised, I hate it nobody listens to the worship leader, I hate it when people try to help out or give advice only to make a simple mistake and get everyone ridiculing that person, I hate it when no one is encouraging at all, I hate it when everyone is playing for the sake of being in a band rather than leading people to worship, I hate it when people come for practice with the wrong attitude, I hate it when people stall practice because no effort was made before, I just hate it...

I just hate it...

Which could be equivalent to me hating myself...

Maybe I shouldn't be part of the band. I know there is no such thing as perfection. Or maybe I am just crying out for attention shouting, "Oh look, listen to me play the acoustic guitar", which evidently you do for the first minute and then nothing for the rest of the entire time. Maybe I should just turn off my volume and just kneel down and worship God, or maybe I should forget about everything and go on keeping everything to myself, or maybe I should just forget about the band. Maybe I should just leave.

Hate
1. To feel hostility or animosity toward.
2. To detest.
3. To feel dislike or distaste for:

Maybe
1. Perhaps; possibly.

But then again nothing in this world is perfect. If everyone were to complain about at least something that annoys them, then there would be trillions of problems. So what can I do about it? It is said that every dark cloud has a silver lining. So am I supposed to search for that silver glimpse of hope? Or should I stay hidden in the midst of the crowd as what most people do? Or should I just voice out my humble opinions and take all the attention to myself? But then what is my main intention?

Again, what everyone's intentions?

3 Comments:

Anonymous said...

Worship is about God, not about how well you play.

Mavik said...

I know its about God. Everything we do is an act of worship towards God. But if we want to serve God, why not serve it with the best attitude and servant heart we can? We are serving a great king and mighty God and I want to play the best I can. If people can't be bothered to even turn up on time for practice or listen to the song before hand then aren't we shortchanging God?

Anonymous said...

If you think the worship band is the only ministry having these problems, you're wrong. I can't name the ministry I served in here, but we also have people with wrong attitudes, turning up late or even gossiping.

You can't change the way people are, but you can change yourself for the better. Maybe a friendly reminder will be good, but if they get defensive...all you can do is just pray. Where there is people, there is bound to be conflict.

At the end of it all, just know you've done your part AND your best. Leave the rest to God.

P/s I'd like to think it's not only shortchanging God, but also the congregration that we serve.