Tuesday, 27 March 2007

Random thoughts

Apart from just going through life every single day, going through the routines you sort of gotten used to, someone once said that the sabbath is a day of rest and to just reflect upon your life. I never really did that too often and a most of the times I just let things go by without giving it a second glance.

Recent reflections:

Personal life:

Right now there are so many things going on at the same time but whose life isn't riddled with complexities and anxieties? I guess maybe I can break it down to specific portions within my life.

Fitness level:

I guess this is the only positive thing I can see right now. In the midst of getting back in shape or how my friend would say to me back in college, "Mark its about time you started working out and fit in to your bicycle shorts". Managed to run two 10km runs and will continue to strive for a faster time in the next run. But because I had to train for those runs, I haven't had the chance to play badminton and futsal recently.


Not too good, there is just too much good food here in Malaysia. It pains me to sit down at the "mamak" and be able to control myself to drinking two cups of "ais kosong" especially at night. Worse is when everyone orders their favourite dishes like "Nasi Lemak ayam" or "Maggi Goreng Ayam", I just have the immense cravings for food. Even driving back on the NKVE highway and I see the KFC outlet which I use to frequent often back in my JVC days, my stomach calls out to it yearning for a piece of action with a dinner plate.

Confidence level:

Not too sure about this at the moment, at some times I can be super confident and handle things easily and at times I can be totally down in the dumps with zero confidence in my own capabilities. Even when it comes to driving, I scratched the car numerous times and was careless with my driving causing a lot of damage to my car.

In dealing with people, its not at an all time high either. That's because of several incidences in January and February, I guess it really hit me that things can be so uncertain sometimes and it caused me to lose confidence in myself. But then again there are times when I am just bursting with enthusiasm and nothing could stand in my way of my tasks and targets.

Stress level:
Where stress is a concern, I seem to be able to take it well. After all I am the kind of person who works well under stress except for some outbursts which may occur especially in one of my emails to the BUM communications team. Other times as well I might have accidentally have been too harsh but I am slowly learning how to be patient.

Discipline level:
Two things I am in the midst of learning, learning how to discipline my mind and my heart. I learned that Jeremiah 17:9 says that "The heart is deceitful above all things...", definitely an eye opener for me and I got to learn to discipline it.

Another thing is to learn how to discipline my mind, to learn to keep it still and not wander around and be filled with anxious and distracting thoughts. Last but not least, patience is the area where I need to concentrate on. I got to tell myself to constantly be patient, take things slow, don't be so hesitant and take quick and stupid actions.

Guitar skills:
I've stopped going for lessons because I can't seem to get home in time on Tuesday nights. I need to reschedule them and start practicing consistently again. There are plenty of things I've been meaning to do with my guitars, one of them is to restring them, another is to send it for a check-up or tune-up.

I am still considered a total noob after playing recently in my company's annual dinner and dance compared to my super guitaris, Zul. But with nothing to look forward to, I can't seem to bring myself to sit down and play the guitar. I need to set some goals for myself in this area.

Photography skills:
Haven't had the time to properly go out and take more scenery and landscape shots. I had a ball of a time playing with my 50mm prime lens over the weekend at the Curve but I am still quite slow in my manual focus so a lot of my shots were out of focus. I guess that is the disadvantage of using a Nikon D40.

Though I was struggling that day interchanging between my kit lens and the prime lens, I definitely need a proper camera bag where I can just store all of it in one single place. Really seriously considering getting a new camera bag when I am down in Singapore next month as well as checking out the prices of the SB-400 flash.

Blurness level:
Completely and totally off the charts. I am super blur when it comes to friends and when it comes to certain "people". No idea whether they are happy, sad or what is going on with them. For one thing is that I totally get blurred out when some of my friends use acronyms which I had to ask them what in the world they were talking about. Even my current contact lenses are getting blur because my power went up. Shucks!

Well I guess this is it for now as I can't seem to think of anything else. This seemed more like a stock take but it allowed me to actually look at myself and rate my levels. There are definitely more areas which needs rating but I guess this is it for now.